


What Happens in Scanlan's Mansion, Stays in Scanlan's Mansion

by whythursdaynext



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Drabble Collection, I know it's not just rare pairs but since I do have some obscure ones I'm doing it anyway, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-14
Updated: 2016-07-14
Packaged: 2018-07-23 22:27:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7482348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whythursdaynext/pseuds/whythursdaynext
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just your good old fashioned 100 word drabbles featuring the entire cast plus a few NPCs getting busy. Good for them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Happens in Scanlan's Mansion, Stays in Scanlan's Mansion

**Percy & Vex: **

 

Percy woke up, a little cold, back stiff, and slowly realized that he was not in his bed. 

There seemed to be a table above his head. Perhaps he had fallen asleep at his workbench? He rolled on his side, in order to begin extracting himself from this unusual position, and found himself staring at the beautiful body of a completely nude Vex’halia, the events of last night coming back to him in waves, first wine, then nearly tripping down the stairs to his workshop, admiring the progress on the broom, then admiring each other with needy hands and moans. 

 

**Vax & Keyleth: **

 

Vax woke slowly, content for possibly the first time. He smiled down at Keyleth, sleeping snuggled up against him. She was close enough that he could feel every breath with his whole body, her skin soft against his. She had come to him this time, and he knew it might not be permanent, but he wanted to linger here as long as he could. Vax brushed a loose strand of hair from her face, kissed her forehead, and leaned back against the pillows, wondering what stroke of luck had led this beautiful princess to the bed of a bastard thief. 

 

**Pike & Scanlan:**

 

“You know, for someone who spends as much gold as you on ladies of the night, I would have thought you would have lasted a little longer.” 

Scanlan stood, boot in hand, mouth ajar, in complete shock at the derision of his lady love. 

Pike smiled, pushed herself off the bed, and met his mouth with hers. “I’m just kidding, Scanlan.” 

He was wordless for one rare moment in his life. 

“But I’m sure it’s something that would improve with practice,” she finished, a wicked glint in her eye. 

He dropped the boot and pulled her back on the bed. 

 

**Kima & Allura**

 

Kima needed to get out of bed, say her prayers to the great dragon, and go make her patrol here in the makeshift war base of Whitestone, but she couldn’t stop staring at the feathery blonde hair of the woman lounging in her bed. 

Allura was tracing light circles on Kima’s skin, the sensation making her shiver. “Don’t go yet,” Allura said. “There will still be dragons and refugees out in the world in another hour.” 

Kima sighed and leaned over to kiss her love. “And I have neglected my duty too much already by staying with you this night.” 

  
  
  


**Vax & Gilmore**

 

“My, my Vax, I feel  _ absolutely  _ ravished,” Gilmore stretched, sprawling all across the bed. 

Vax grinned. “I occasionally put my fingers to good use,” he said, linking his hands behind his head and leaning casually against the wall. 

Gilmore smiled and rolled on top of him. “No need to be modest, Vax’ildan. I’m sure the entire keep heard us.” 

“Oh trust me, we did,” a voice called. 

Vax froze, just long enough for Gilmore to kiss him. “Now Vax, you can’t tell me you don’t normally scream his name when a gentleman goes down on you. It’s just good manners.” 

 

**Vex & Keyleth**

 

Keyleth woke groggily to find Vex waving a flask of water in front of her face. 

“Darling, I do love when you decide to take me out on the town, but maybe next time we shouldn’t go to ALL the pubs in Emon.” 

Keyleth accepted the water gratefully. “You had fun though?” 

Vex slid back next to her. She cupped Keyleth’s face in her hands and kissed her gently. “Any night with you is perfect.” She sighed, adding, “Perhaps though, today, we could just remain in bed?” 

“Okay,” Keyleth smiled. “And we could play with feathers again?” 

“Of course, darling.” 

 

**Vex & Jarett**

 

Vex slid out of the bed, trying to stay quiet as she reached for her trousers and her boots. 

“You do know, I won’t tell anyone about this.” 

Vex turned to Jarett, stretched out in her bed with a wry look on his face. 

“I mean, it weren’t in the job description, but I certainly don’t mind if my  _ complete _ skill set avails itself to the lady of the house.” 

Vex paused for a moment. “Well, then, you won’t mind if I make use of it again. As needed, of course.” 

Jarrett grinned. “I won’t even ask for a raise.” 

 

**Kash & Keyleth**

 

“Well that was-” Kash started.

“I didn’t mean to- I know- uh-” Keyleth was having trouble with words, even after the evening they’d had. She’d just wanted to talk, but then they’d kissed, and then they went to the bed, and then they’d ended up on the floor. Well, she’d gotten them to the floor. She was sore and achy, but it wasn’t a bad achy. 

Kash had a strange expression on his face. 

“I’m sorry Kash,” Keyleth said, feeling like she’d been too pushy, too out-of-control. 

“No,” Kash said, smiling, something  she’d never seen before. “It was good, Keyleth.” 

 

**Vex & Zahra: **

 

A bear was currently poking Zahra with its nose. “Not now, Trinket. I’m trying to wake your mother up.”

Trinket growled, confused. Zahra sighed and kissed the forehead of the sleeping Vex nestled next to her. “Vex’halia, it’s time to wake up.”

Vex mumbled something into Zahra’s chest. “Darling, as much as I love your mouth there-”

She gasped as Vex suddenly moved her mouth over one of her breasts. “- we...really… must…” 

Vex slid a hand between her thighs and Zhara gave up on making it downstairs for breakfast. 

Trinket moaned sadly and went to find his uncle Vax.

 

**Jarett & Gilmore: **

 

Gilmore stretched luxuriously and slid his well cushioned body up to the tight, taut one of the handsome man he’d just spent the most glorious evening with. 

“I am SO glad that our dear goliath introduced us, but-” Gilmore frowned slightly. “-I don’t think I caught your name?” 

Jarett nodded slightly. “I am Jarett, man-at-arms, currently in the employ of Vox Machina.” 

Gilmore patted a bicep. “They most certainly are a lovely feature, but the rest of you is also delightful, Jarrett,” he said, drawing the name out as he slid his hand down to one of the other features. 

 

**Percy & Keyleth: **

 

They were both lying there, still gasping, still feeling the aftershocks roll through their bodies. 

“I didn’t know-” Keyleth said, with curiosity, “I didn’t know it would feel like that.” 

Percy thought for a moment. “You know, I didn’t really either. That was your first time?” 

Keyleth nodded. 

“Mine too,” Percy said. 

There was a moment of silence. Then Keyleth: “I didn’t mean it, in like, a bad way, just that it wasn’t what I was expecting? But that’s not your fault, it’s probably just-” 

Percy pulled her head to his chest. “It’s all right, I understand. I understand completely.” 

 

**Vex & Scanlan:**

 

Vex grabbed for her boots off the floor and nearly fell off the silken sheets of Scanlan’s ridiculous bed. “And just so you know, this was a one-time thing, because I owed you for the broom. There won’t be a repeat performance.” 

Scanlan linked his fingers behind his head and leaned back against the pillows, displaying his fine gnome form in all its male glory. “Don’t worry, sweetheart, you’ll be back, begging for more. I might even be willing to accommodate you, based on tonight.” 

Vex dropped the boot she’d found and glared. “What kind of floozy do you think…”

 

**Grog & Kima: **

 

They were both still covered in blood from the fight, but that was a major turn on for both of them, so they just left it there. It made slipping and sliding easier, which was necessary, because a goliath and halfling weren’t exactly made to play stick the peg in the hole. It was also the first time in a long time- since the nymph, maybe?- that Grog hadn’t paid for his lady favors. He knew how to keep his hands from crushing people, but wasn’t there something he should be doing for her? She shrieked at the end though. 

 

**Zahra & Jarett: **

 

They’d probably have fallen it to floor if she hadn’t pinned them to the wall with her tail. The man was so athletic, and it pleased Zahra to no end. It was so kind of Vex to mention that he was the kind of man that could work a girl’s kinks out. Zahra moaned appreciatively at a particularly deep thrust. The man had perfect rhythm. She moved her hands a bit lower. And a perfect ass. 

Jarett then hitched both her legs up around his waist, turned, and then shoved her against the wall. All of this, she’d so needed. 

 

**Percy & Vax: **

 

“I cannot believe you’re making me do this,” Percy said, taking off his glasses. 

Vax frowned. “What exactly-” 

He was interrupted by Percy’s mouth on his. 

“OH.” Vax said. “Well, if you insist-” 

Percy had already backed him up against the wall, so Vax stepped forward, pressing up against his body and pulled the gunslinger up against the wall. He held him there, using his free hand to slowly pop open the buttons on Percy’s jacket.

Percy’s eyes were wide, but a grin was creeping up his face. 

“Sneak attacks are MY move, you bastard.” And then Vax kissed him. 

 

**Grog & Scanlan: **

 

“Well then, so long and thanks for all the booze,” Scanlan said, because while the evening had been lovely, his own bed was far more comfortable. Silk sheets, pillows perfectly fluffed, and sizing far more suitable for a gnome.

Grog, sprawled complete naked, watched the gnome scramble off his abs in confusion. “Are you leaving? How are we going to get breakfast in the morning? I don’t know how to work the house.” 

Scanlan patted one of the massive legs. “Naw, buddy I just got some reading to do. See you in the morning.” 

Grog, satisfied, was already sound asleep.


End file.
